every dishwasher: "don't worry you don't need to scrub dishes when you put them in me I can handle it"

me: "are you sure, I feel like every dishwasher says this and I get burned every time"

e.d.w.: "It's cool I'm good for it, I'm not like other dishwashers babe"

*time passes*

me: "wtf there's crud all over these dishes"

e.d.w.: "yeah because you didn't SCRUB THEM, geez"