Toasters should have one setting. That setting should produce toast.
@gnomon hot bread
@neal BOO-URNS
(But I guess no smoke alarm shriek? That's a plus!)
@gnomon If I increase the setting it burns my bagels.
@neal you're either going to need to rig up some kind of bagel sensor or acquire a second toaster strictly for bagel duty
@neal surely it would be more closely related to surface area than mass though, wouldn't it?
Except perhaps that a heat sink effect from greater mass might _ever_ so slightly slow the Maillard reaction...
Hmm.
HMM.
@gnomon It's probably easier to just learn how to use a torch.
@gnomon Is there an optimal toasting time to bread mass? This might warrant investigation.