@soapdog I would consider reading that.
Someone lost their phone outside my shop a couple days ago and it would be nice if someone called them so we can figure out how to get that back to them. Instead we just know that people ring their doorbell a lot because they have some "smart" doorbell abomination that notifies the phone every time that happens.
@goat Do the werewolf one.
@Satsuma They were being stored there in preparation for a zoo fundraiser that got cancelled and I guess they've decided to just keep them on top of the frozen food aisles. So, yeah, a whole family of them.
@soapdog That last one could be fascinating.
There's a Windows machine at the shop that pretty much only gets used to print labels, but it's so bad at it. If the printer ever reports any kind of error condition, the computer is like, "I tried and I'm never trying again." Out of paper? There's no way a printer could ever recover from that. If you can find the right service to restart, it'll notice that it can resume printing, but it's faster to just reboot the whole computer and I'm just like, how do you screw up printing that badly?
This mostly only happens over the phone because the beard is usually enough of a hint for people to get it right in person, but the name should also be a pretty good clue if you're going to make a guess. (Or, you know, you could just not use gendered pronouns where they're not needed or if you must, ask?)
Laptop screen bezel has cracked. It's obnoxious because the computer part of the computer is still fully adequate for my needs, but the build quality of everything surrounding that is apparently not so great. I've already replaced a fan (which required multiple rounds of tech support because they kept sending the same wrong fan instead of the one that failed) and I'm using an external keyboard because I can't type on the built in one unless I got that replaced.
Today in passive agressive, changed the lock on my front door because my mother can't understand that I don't want her letting herself in whenever she wants despite my telling her that repeatedly. It always freaks the cat out when I'm not there and her idea of cleaning is my idea of moving stuff away from where I know it is to somewhere she won't remember or throwing away still perfectly good food I wanted to eat.
A description of cartoon characters dying in a funny fashion
In the original pitch for one of my favorite Simpsons episodes, itchy scratchy and poochie, poochie was unlikable not because he was what adults thought were cool, but because he was a rich asshole.
and the description of the first episode he's in sounds like something some of y'all would come up with
@dokuja Raktajino
Author of Typica software for coffee roasters.