It turns out that the reason I wasn't seeing anything on the tracking page for the new espresso machines is because someone transcribed the number wrong. The machines are currently in Chicago, getting delivered to an installer in Chicago. Estimated delivery date is the 18th, but hopefully they won't really just sit on that for 3 days and I can get the machines sooner. The first of the two was ordered 6/21 so I'm pretty disgusted by the delay that's already happened.
Also, here is a photo from last week of Nocturne gazing longingly at the tomato plant.
(He would later go on to not only chomp a leaf, but ingest a mouthful or two. And then he spent the next day feeling gross and hiding under the couch. I'd like to say he learned his lesson, but he did not—so now we have new rules about him being on the balcony.)
"Well, traveler, you have bested my traps, solved my riddles, and defeated my guardians. What is it you seek from me!"
"Package for you."
"I... what?"
"Package for you. Sign here, please."
BTW, threatening to sue former clients when there's absolutely no plausible basis for a suit is a great way to convince someone that they made the right choice to no longer do business with you.
I don't know how this is in parts of the country where there are more places with espresso machines, but in my corner of Wisconsin service techs start out great and then go insane. I had one who just suddenly dropped completely off the map (fled the country it turns out) without telling any of their clients. Another one started messing with brewer settings inappropriately. There was the one who threatened to sue me when I told him we no longer required his services.
Author of Typica software for coffee roasters.